Chapter 5: Off With Their Heads

The CEO, Robert Mitchell, was standing over Naomi with crossed arms. Instinctively, Naomi sat up just a little taller in her chair. She hoped she looked presentable.  

“Uh, hello Sir. How can I help you?”

“Funny you should ask,” he replied. “I thought it was pretty obvious how you could help.” 

“Sir?”

“I thought you and Rosa were supposed to be fixing this virus that has shut down the company. But when I came in this morning, I couldn’t find either one of you. Now I see that you have finally come in, but Rosa’s still not here. And you’re not even working. You’re just making personal phone calls. Do you realize how serious this situation is? Our entire business is shut down. What the hell have you been doing?” 

“Sir, I know it may not look like it, but we’re actually working on the problem. We have been all morning.” 

“How could you possibly be working on the problem? You haven’t even been here! And where the hell is Rosa?”

“Sir, I can explain.” 

“No need. I see that your phone is working. Please call Rosa and tell her to get back in here.” 

“Sir, I’m sorry it doesn’t work that way.” 

“What do you mean it doesn’t work that way? I just saw you chatting on the phone. I know you’re capable!” 

“Sir, we learned this morning that the virus only allows certain activities. Personal calls are OK. Work calls are not.” 

“Do you expect me to believe that? That’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard.” 

“Sir, it’s an absurd computer virus.” 

“You think I don’t know that? I tried to look at our company finances today while you and Rosa were off taking a break somewhere. Do you know what I saw?”

“Sloths?” ventured Naomi.

“Chickens. There were goddamn chickens all over the spreadsheet…” and he sputtered this next part “…pecking! They were pecking at the numbers! I couldn’t read the spreadsheet because the chickens were eating it. I cannot work this way!”

Naomi imagined the image and let out a small guffaw. It was involuntary, and she regretted it immediately.  

Robert quietly stared at her, turning redder and redder as he did. 

“Do you think this is funny?”

“No, Sir. I’m sorry.” 

“I’m going to tell you one more time. Call Rosa. I need her here to fix this.” 

“Sir, please let me explain. I can’t call her.” 

“Enough! I don’t want to hear it. Pack your desk. You’re fired. And if you happen to see Rosa, feel free to tell her she’s fired too.” 

[Chapter 6 coming soon]